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Magnuson Cromwell[]

Magnuson Cromwell is MMFEC's Butler / Unarmed Adept. He is large, even for a troll, speaks in an obviously fake British accent, wears a formal suit, and styles himself as Elsie Blackwood's Butler.

He lives under the Aurora Bridge with his pet, Barnaby.

He learned, after recovering from serious injuries[1] that a non-fatal condition called regurgitation in one of his heart's valves put him at greater risk of a stroke[2]. His assessment on hearing the news, with Fang at his side:

Don't put flowers on my grave just yet!

Though medication could improve the symptoms, Cromwell was recommended valve replacement surgery. He is loathe to consider it because it would have the side-effect of hindering his magical capabilities.[3]

Past History[]

Born sometime in 2036, Cromwell's earliest memories are of growing up in a penal colony on Yomi Island. He was raised by a dwarf named Pip, and has no real information concerning his actual parents except for a small stuffed Paddington Bear that he believes were his parents.

Sometime in the late 2040s, after coming of age, Cromwell escaped Yomi Island by swimming through a mine field, trying to reach the Phillipines.

Cromwell's history over the next twenty years is largely unknown. In the mid-to-late 2060s, Cromwell was employed as a "Collections Agent": stealing cars for various organized crime families in the UCAS. In 2072, he was hired as a "Butler", providing personal security inside the homes of crime families in Boston. It was in this regard that he came in contact with the Whitetree Family, including the young Chelsea Whitetree, aka Elsie Blackwood.

The circumstances of Cromwell and Elsie's departure are unknown, but the two have been out of Boston since at least 2075, having departed before the city was quarantined due to the breakout of CFD.

Show History[]

Cromwell and Elsie met the rest of MMFEC while looking for work at the Rapid Rabbit Tavern.

Of bees and trolls[]

Cromwell had this quote from the Great Bear in the Sky Paddington for Fang, after she hit him for knocking Naseam Deylan out with narcojet:

Sometimes you reach in the hive and you get some honey and sometimes you reach in and get some bees.

But you're still gonna reach into the tree anyway 'cause you're a bear.[4]

Saving Pip[]

In Spring of 2076, Cromwell was put in contact with his former guardian, Pip, who lives in London and works as a Nanny. Pip had fallen on hard times and was fighting in underground tournaments to help pay for a BTL addiction related to the trauma of his time on Yomi Island. MMFEC helped Pip relieve his debt to a criminal organization in London.

Against the Troll Killers[]

Later, in a mission for the Draco Foundation, Cromwell accidentally killed a young woman who was part of the Troll Killers gang. Other members of MMFEC took issue. Cromwell publicly maintained that she was a casualty of war she entered when she chose to join the Troll Killers. Privately, however, Cromwell donated the reward money (and all future Draco Foundation retainer money) to start the Magnuson Cromwell Foundation, dedicated to providing non-gang-related options for both human and meta teenagers.


In Late Spring, Yakuza discovered the whereabouts of Elsie and Cromwell, and planned to deliver Cromwell to the Whitetree Family. MMFE rescued Cromwell, and in the presence of a sole surviving Yakuza, Cromwell pretended to murder Elsie. Whether or not the Whitetree Family was convinced remains to be seen.

Cromwell Loses his Eyes[]

In early Summer of 2076, after the resignation of Kenneth Brackhaven, MMFEC took a mission from the Aztechnology Corporation. The mission involved a moral quandary: saving a city required the potential blood sacrifice of an unwilling Granny Powell, or the willing sacrifice of several other individuals with VITAS antibodies. Rather than risk killing a non-consenting innocent, Cromwell injected himself with the new strain of VITAS, and sacrificed his eyes (which were sliced open by an Aztechnology Blood Mage named Juamet) as part of a blood ritual to cure the city.

Building the Magnuson Cromwell Foundation[]

Blinded, Cromwell began to doubt his future as a runner. Though he could still "see" due to his perception of the astral plane, his perception was severely limited, and he found he was no longer as effective as he once was. Several mistakes led to injuries to his teammates, and Cromwell began to wonder if he could do more good in another role. Whether by coincidence, corporate scheming, or plan of the great Bear Spirit, Evo Corporate Giving gifted 2 billion nuyen to the Magnuson Cromwell Foundation.

Cromwell used some of this money to begin a program in which the foundation would hire runners to escort teenage orphans on low-risk shadowruns, to teach them "valuable skills" and keep them out of the hands of gangs like the Troll Killers. The program is specifically designed to pair metahumans with different metahuman types, to help reduce racial tensions among the youth of Seattle.

Election Season[]

Kenneth Brackhaven's departure a vacuum in which several clones of Arislen ran for Governor, with backing from several corporations. After several questionable missions, including Cromwell stealing the blood of an orc named Krund while he showered in a gym locker room, the final election arrived.

While protecting Orks, in the Ork Underground, who were voting in their first gubernatorial election in Pike Place Market, Cromwell was shot several times by a member of the Troll Killers. As he lay dying, he had a vision, which included a regal elven woman from his past, Ma1nfram3's flying drone, Miss J's story of looking down at her own body, and Thoth's flying eyeball drone. Upon healing by Mordecai, Cromwell sat up and, to Mordecai's surprise, cast a spell: a rare occurrence for an Adept.

At the Galahad Academy[]

Cromwell used his skills in evasion as well as vision to explore the Academy from within and search for the missing children, mostly unseen, while his less stealthy companions Elsie and Ma1nfram3 had to resort to hiding in plain sight.

While hiding in bushes, he was trolled by masked cat bandits he later learned were more properly called raccoons.[5]

He's a f***ing walking wrecking ball[]

This is what Lauren had to say about Cromwell near then end of The Test[6]: Then, after an amused Really?, a shrug and a brief, satisfied look at the two guards already unconscious or dead nearby, Cromwell charged the remaining guard who had tried to kill him with a shotgun and dispatched him with lightning fists. After that, the GM signaled in unequivocal terms that the fight, as well as The Test itself, was over:

You hear the sound of no more gunfire.


This newfound ability gave Cromwell the ability to "see" from outside his body. Not in light and color, but in ultrasonic perception. Cromwell can now perceive the world in three dimensions from a point of his choosing. He cannot see through glass, nor make out print, computer terminals, or other objects that don't have physicality, but he can see perfectly in absolute darkness and fairly well in thermal smoke.

As he used this ability to look at Ma1nfram3's brain[7], then everybody else's, he disclosed that he had had medical training from an elf back in the Resistance in Tir Tairngire.

Relationship with Fang.[]

See Fangwell.

You don't want to look like this when you're as classy as Cromwell.
Picture posted on twitter by Shelley Low.

A sartorial obsession?[]

Cromwell's first foray into the Karma for class trade made him learn a spell that allowed him to change (and in his mind at least, improve) cloth into clothes of the same material. He first used it on random strangers on the street[8]. The spell could also be useful, for instance when it freed Captain Pickles from the bag where Violet was keeping him[9].

After this first spell had made him more presentable, he joined the Society of High Fisticuff Debonnaires[10] to improve his Reaction and develop a quality that would allow him to keep his clothes free from blood (his own or, say, that of a hypothetical head he'd squish like a cantaloupe until it popped[11][12]) in a fight[13].

A subsequent bet with Fang regarding this ability nearly resulted in Mordecai's death[14].

Cromwell assisted Lottie Sokolov in the assassination of Scarlet Fyre leader Becky. He got dark blood on his clothes despite this ability.[15]

Speaking of abilities ...

Death and rebirth[]

Cromwell was killed in the explosion of the Rapid Rabbit while heroically protecting Lance Pendelton's young son from the effects of the simultaneous detonations of two grenades nearby. His vital signs had completely stopped, his lifeless body whisked away by DocWagon[16] and his remains cremated by the Bear Doctors. He was gone forever, his will executed, and a wake was held in his honor[17].

Except that he had "forgotten" to mention this detail.

So, there he was, a few days later, with Lottie[18], preparing to kill Becky, who was herself busy killing the runners hired by The Hand of Dusk[19] from a safe distance. The pair had been tracking their prey for some time when Lottie met and flirted with Fang.

After Lottie had rejoined [20] with Scarlet Fyre, whose Face she was very friendly with, and MMFEC was whole again, Cromwell ended up proposing to Fang and in short order, marrying her in a hurry in a van.

Cromwell came back from his There and back again experience in space with the revelation that Magnuson Cromwell was dead and he was hencetoforth to be known as Michael Bond[21], and with parts taken from the space station to help Oz rebuild the Rapid Rabbit.

  1. See Ep 52. He had sustained them in Ep 51's run.
  2. Lauren, having worked in cardiology was in her element there.
  3. Cromwell had to return to the cardiologist's at the beginning of Ep 57. Tony was not there and Lauren used this impromptu appointment as retaliation for MMEC making fun of her Cromwell accent. Dan wondered: Is the cardiologist gonna fix that accent of yours, or?
  4. See Ep 6. Any resemblance to real Paddingtions is purely coincidental.
  5. See Ep 44 and Ep 45.
  6. See Ep 56.
  7. See this and the ensuing medical discussion about medical ultrasounds in Ep 44.
  8. As reported in SSN #55's Fashion News?.
  9. See Ep 58.
  10. The spelling of Debonnaires, one of several possible, was more or less canonized in this twitter conversation.
  11. Hypothesis raised by a very intrigued Fang on a coffee date. Fang's curiosity led to a detailed description of this skill which Lauren had previously deemed very important.
  12. Venus obligingly offered her own cantaloupe head to help make the hypothetical real. See Ep 62.
  13. See Ep 59.
  14. See Ep 60 & Ep 61.
  15. See Ep 65.
  16. See Ep 63.
  17. See Ep 64.
  18. See Ep 65.
  19. At least, those that were not part of her own Scarlet Fyre group, but that's another story ...
  20. Presumably
  21. In tribute to Paddington author Michael Bond, who had just passed away.